So you abandon your website for almost two months and what happens?
Readership drops to zero.
Ad revenue goes from practically nothing to pretty much nothing.
And George Takei shares one of your comics with his millions of fans.
The comic is Sweet Nothings, a little something I made several years ago to vent over a frustrating breakup.
Everybody’s favorite panel.
Judging by the lack of watermark on the version Mr Sulu posted, He did not find it here on my website. Chances are he didn’t get it off my abandoned Deviant Art page either. You see, that little comic gets around. I think I’ve said before that my comics have become like feral children, roaming the internet and getting into all kinds of trouble. (One even found it’s way into a very shitty indie Xbox game.)
So George posts my comic on Facebook, and what happens? An all out internet shit-storm breaks out.
Why is this? Well, I haven’t followed all of Sweet Nothings’ interweb exploits, but I am aware of the controversy that tends to follow it wherever it goes. Apparently, the term “Nice Guy” has become a bit of a buzz word in the battle of the sexes. And not a positive buzz word, either. I get it though, some guys feel they’re entitled to a relationship because they’re “nice guys.” Being a “nice guy” is nothing special, you’re supposed to be nice to your significant other. If somebody stops liking you, well it doesn’t matter how nice you are, they just don’t like you.
Now, when you’re a comedian, you have to get used to pissing people off. I’ve put my foot in my mouth so many times I’ve had to start buying Dr Scholls brand tooth paste. I could just say “Eh, my bad” and leave it at that, But I feel I need to defend myself here just a little.
I tried to speak up in Takei’s original post. Go ahead and try to find it among the over ten-thousand comments, I dare you! Not much chance of having my voice heard over there. So I’m gonna speak up here – where there’s even less chance.
Several years ago I was in what seemed to be a fantastic relationship. I was madly in love with this girl, and she seemed to be just as in love with me. All that “you’re such a romantic, nice guy” stuff I wrote in the comic? That’s not me tooting my own horn, that’s a paraphrase of the things she said to me quite frequently. Telling your sweetie how nice you think they are is a natural part of any healthy relationship. This girl seemed to say it a lot, however. Gave me something of an ego, I must admit.
When she left me, it was not for another “nice guy.” If she had, this comic would have never been made. Don’t get me wrong, I would have been no less bitter and emo, I just would have found something else to complain about. But the guy she left me for was a grade A jerk, and I’m not just saying that because he got my girl.
Let me tell you a little bit about this ass-hat. When the girl and I were still together, she warned me about this guy-friend of hers who had taken up stalking me online. She told me he was trying to convince her that I was just a pathetic little dweeb who’s not worth her time. (There may be some truth to that.) Eventually, she broke up with me, and I come to find that the guy she left me for was none other than my e-stalker. The icing on this shit cake? In the months that followed she chose to stay in contact with me, but only to vent about what a prick her new boyfriend was. The cherry on top? (or piece of corn rather, this is a shit cake we’re talking about.) The dick-wad chose to leave me a nice long victory speech in the wake of winning her affections.
I’m happy to say she ultimately ditched that festering pile of human excrement. I don’t know what she’s up to now, and frankly I don’t care. That was like two relationships ago. I got a new girl now, a “nice girl.” And I couldn’t be happier.
(Well, a million bucks could make me happier.)
Good on you man. Look someone read it(start to finish too!).
this is a really cool post, dude. i’m glad you wrote it out and cleared it up.
I feel pretty confident that, in human history, the ex never likes his replacement.
In this case sounds like he was a real jerk — to you, anyway. The implications don’t necessarily carry, though, and really, it was entirely her business from the moment she left you.
It’s your prerogative not to like the guy, and it’s sure as hell your prerogative to not think much of her after the fact, either, but if she left you, something wasn’t working. It wasn’t some factor of her just not knowing what was good for her, as so many have taken your comic to imply. What’s good for her was never really up to you.
Pardon the tardy reply, Jess. (It’s been a busy several months.)
You’re right that this comic doesn’t do anything to tell the rest of the story. In fact, ever since I made the comic I’ve debated with myself whether or not I should have included more personal details. I chose to make the comic generic because I wanted to avoid it becoming a personal attack, going so far as to purposefully make the girl look nothing like the one who inspired it. I was only upset with what happened, not the people involved.
(Ok, I was pissed off at the dude, as I said, he’s a jerk)
And you’re also right that it’s ultimately her choice who she is with. But you missed the part where she chose to tell me all about what a prick he was being to her. Still her choice to stick with him, but you have to admit it only makes the heart ache worse to know that the new lover is treating your ex so poorly.
That’s what this comic was about. Not who was right or who was wrong. Not who’s the better lover. Just how much it stings to be in a relationship where you’re told what a good job you’re doing and then suddenly dumped for someone who treats them like shit.